Friday, October 20, 2006

on a sadder note

as soon as i got home (actually, on the airplane back) the side effects to the seroquel started. now i've gone down on it but i'm still really out of it. my head seems a lot worse. i'm on a slightly lower dose and i'm still hopeful about this drug, it's just really hard to be back in the house watching tv all day. arg.

Thursday, October 12, 2006


in florida here, being ecstatic. it was pretty incredible going to the airport where previously i'd needed a wheelchair, sunglasses and earplugs, and needing NONE of that. i needed all that (minus the wheelchair) on the flight previously, but not this time. this time i took the noise of the plane plus x-men 3.

i think it's finally sinking in that my head is better, and WOW! joy joy joy joy joy! i woke up this morning and for a few seconds wondered if my headache was gone. PLUS i'm in florida. it's like my dad's conference purposely happened in time for me to celebrate getting better. i read on the beach (!!) today for 40 minutes, no problem, i could have done a fair amount more but it started raining. so i went to the spa :) life is too good.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

we have SO much to catch up on

wow, i'm not sure i'm awake enough to do this post justice. but i'll try. on friday i went down to see the boyfriend. we went out to dinner on saturday night (it was REALLY good) and when we first got there, we were scoping out the noise level for me, and we explained this to the person who came to seat us, and he was like oh, let me turn down the music. and he turned it off. he's my favorite waiter ever. so anyway, it was quiet and dark at first, but then they turned the music back on, and more people came in, and it got pretty loud. and my head was still fine. and i was like, hmmm...

so the next day, which was very bright, kevin and i went outside. and i was fine without my sunglasses. and then there was a big baltimore parade for columbus day, and MARCHING BANDS went past me and i was FINE!!!


it seems that i'm functional in every way but reading, which has done me in from the start of my headache four years ago. i can read for 50 minutes but it makes my head hurt for the rest of the day, and i can read for 35 minutes no problem. i'm hoping going up on the seroquel will both make my headache go away and let me read. in opposite order than that, because i've had my headache for four years, i'm used to it, i'm even fine with it as long as it doesn't inhibit me.

sooooooOOOOooo my dad the day before asked me if i wanted to go on a business trip with him to florida tomorrow, and i wasn't sure for a while cos i was like, i might be really bored, and he was like, you can be bored here or you can be bored there. and i was like, good point. so now i'm in the middle of packing :) i can't understand what my life is right now. i can't understand being better and i can't understand going to florida.... wow.

hopefully i'll post in florida...!

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

busy day (for me)

i had a busy day for a me-day. i woke up at 9, decided i was still tired, and went back to bed. who can tell at this point whether it's the abilify or seroquel that's making me tired and out of it (although i'm SO much more alert). both probably. i had a feldenkrais appointment, where she worked on my poor muscles that had suffered under the twitching from abilify. i had physical therapy, which was the usual, although i did seem to suffer a little less under the florescent lights than usual (i wear sunglasses). just when things might have been winding down, i went out to dinner with my dad.

it feels good to have actually done some stuff today. i'm going to increase the seroquel again tonight. still hoping to be cured...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

doctor day

i saw my doctor today (yay!). i really like him. he's starting me on seroquel (the one that's like abilify) and i'm going up way fast in the dosing. hopefully i'll get better soon! cos i can't take this shit anymore!

we stopped off at the jefferson integrated medicine center or whatever they call it. it's "alternative" therapies overseen by doctors. i thought it sounded pretty legit cos it was at a reputable medical center, but i dunno, they seem a little... let's just say their form you have to fill out asks you what you think your purpose in life is.

no movies again today. how do i possibly fill up my days? i'm not sure. it involves long naps though.

Monday, October 02, 2006

spot the fake jew

so whoops, the day of fasting (which still no one in my house did) was today. and we had the traditional breakfast-dinner afterall. i suck.

i watched freaks and geeks (2000) today, or rather the first disk of season one. it wasn't nearly as good as i remembered. but maybe watching a show about nerds in high school while i was a nerd in high school was more rewarding.

my doctor's appointment is tomorrow morning, so i'm gonna sign off and go to bed. wish me luck!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

yom kippuralicious

my grandmother came for yom kippur today. we had duck, which is pretty funny, considering you're supposed to fast and then eat breakfast like food for dinner. but none of us fasted, i used to fast, but it makes my head hurt, so...

anyway, when my grandmother was here for rosh hashannah, i was all drugged, and she totally hounded me about 'oh laura, you don't laugh the way you used to' and it sucked. this time i was all alert so she was incredibly happy. she took me to our local starbucks, where we sat outside. it was lovely, and we sat there for over an hour, sometimes talking, sometimes just being together. in the end, my grandmother really is wonderful.

no movies again today.

i've "decided" that my next treatment is going to cure me. i both have reason to have hope in my next medication, and it's just fucking time. i can't stand the boredom anymore. wish me luck tomorrow in getting an appointment ASAP with my doctor so i can get to getting cured.